When Sarah arm-wrestled a polar bear and emerged the victor, no one in The Student Housing Company offices batted an eye. When James did battle with a dragon in order to rescue a kitten, we paid more attention to the kitten than to his charred suit of armour. And it wasn’t until Gina finished her story about how her rendition of Freddie Mercury’s greatest hits on South Africa’s “Stars in their Eyes” had earned her international acclaim that she realised we had all gone to the pub to engage in round seventy-four of our peanut-throwing competition.
But when our Bournemouth team – Scott, Annette, Fiona, and Scott’s new daughter Eliza (whose efforts for the company thus far are admittedly verging on lacklustre) – won the coveted “You’re Brilliant” award, things were different. Our Health and Safety Manager lunged for the indoor fireworks, the tough guys of the office – Crystal Seth and Christian the Crusher – swooned, and… well… I did the only thing I know how to do:
Yes, who would have thought that Scott, from his humble beginnings in a small Chilean mushroom-farming community, would reach the point in his life when he not only gets told he’s brilliant, but gets a certificate that actually proves it!
Oh he was scorned by those who watched him leave. “You’re so-so!” they yelled. “You hear us? So-so!”
And with a flourish he turned, looked at them with a wry smile, and said: “You’re wrong. One day I will have a building to run, a revolutionary team, and a really, really nice opening hours sign. And when that day comes, it will not be a You’re So-So award thrust into my hands, but a You’re Brilliant award.”
Then he laughed, walked to Bournemouth and draped his poncho over Annette’s shoulder, where it has remained ever since.
I am selling the rights to Hollywood as we speak.
So sincerest congratulations to our Bournemouth team, who have beaten all the celebrated tutors and bus drivers that the city has to offer, winning an award for which they must have been nominated.
By who? By you, you sly foxes.
And we’re pretty confident that if this award ever strays outside the boundaries of Bournemouth, we’ll have a few of the other cities sewn up too.Share